Review: Stingrays

If you go to Sea World in Florida, they have another park called Discovery Cove. This is one of those places where you can swim with the dolphins and feed the sharks and whatever. It's fun because it's in Orlando, which is my favorite place on Earth. Like if aliens ever came to Earth, they should first go to Orlando. It is the pinnacle of the human species.

When you're at Discovery Cove, you can go on some kind of tour thing where they take you around and show you how to feed every single animal that they have. Mayhaps this is so that they don't have to pay people to feed the animals themselves. Instead, you pay them! Hurrah!

I'm getting so bored with this post THE POINT IS STINGRAYS. Anyone who wants to know more about Sea World can go look it up themselves. It's called Google, guys. Use it.

Hello sir.

Stingrays are like fish except flattened. It's as though someone took a steamroller to a regular fish and turned it into a stingray. An analogy: stingrays are kind of like the matzah version of a fish. The whole matzah thing is how apparently if bread doesn't have time to rise, it becomes dry and crusty and FLAT. Except crackers are usually not so bad and matzah is horrible and causes constipation.

Allow this diagram to demonstrate:

It just took me 3 days to figure out how to make that stupid diagram. Who knew computers were so complicated??



Really the whole point of this post is to say that stingrays hug you with their flaps, because they have these flaps instead of arms or fins or whatever, and if you go to Sea World and feed them, they will be all, "Thank you for feeding me this delicious food!" and they swarm up to you and rub their flaps on you and suck the foods out of your hands with the weird little vacuum-mouth that they have.

Observe.

FLAPS FLAPS FLAPS THE END.