Dear Ciao Bella

After a long hiatus, I have returned to make a post.

The following is an email that I sent to Ciao Bella, makers of the famed Blackberry Cabernet sorbet.

Observe: Blackberry Cabernet in all its glory.

Dear Ciao Bella,

In my greatest hour of need, I am turning to you for guidance.

My dear father recently turned 50. In a fit of mid-life-crisis panic, he ran to the grocery store to buy his favorite comfort food, Ciao Bella's Blackberry Cabernet Sorbet.

But alas, he returned home empty handed. After combing through the neighborhood's several grocery establishments, my father discovered the horrible truth-- there was not a single remaining container of Blackberry Cabernet Sorbet.

The family united in the quest to soothe my father's grief. We checked our grocery stores over and over again, but the effort was wasted. We bought Haagen-Dazs's Blackberry Cabernet sorbet, but it couldn't replace Ciao Bella's version. We even bought other Ciao Bella flavors, but nothing could compete with the smooth, rich tartness that is Blackberry Cabernet.

All seemed lost.

But then a light appeared in the fog-- icecreamsource.com sold Blackberry Cabernet, and it could be delivered right to our door! I surprised dear Father on his birthday with five cartons of his beloved sorbet, and you could see the weight lifted from his shoulders. He was a new man!

On the fateful night of August 20th, 2013, I went back online to re-order more sorbet. But I soon discovered the horrible truth; icecreamsource.com no longer carried individual cartons of Blackberry Cabernet! I spent the next few hours braving hellfire and brimstone, searching frantically through the deep folds of the internet for the elusive goddess of sorbet. But it was useless. There was no online store that could deliver Blackberry Cabernet to Northbrook, IL.

My father is having intensive surgery on his sinuses on September 12th, 2013. Please Ciao Bella, in this terrible age of hardship, I beseech thee: tell me how to find this incredible flavor. No matter the cost, no matter the danger, I must find a way to tame the beast that is Blackberry Cabernet.

Help me, Ciao Bella. You're my only hope.

Di te incolumem custodiant,

Beth Jeanne Silverstein

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In other news, "di te incolumem custodiant" means "May the Gods guard your safety" in Latin. Because I know how to use Google, bitches.