Skymall Review: Bob's Affirmation Box

You ever had a moment where you looked at yourself in the mirror and realized that you are the American/other-countries-an version of the Hunchback of Notre Dame? Not the actual hunched back per say, but maybe your veins are too blue for your face, or you have lumps of fat in places that make it hard to wear clothes, or your nose is bad at being a nose. Maybe you have a unibrow, or perhaps a unibutt. Maybe you have a mole on your chin with a single dark hair growing out of it that makes you look like a witch, and you have to pluck it out every so often to avoid being ugly and witch-y (that is totally NOT true story).

Whatever the cause, we all have moments where we feel bad about the way we look. Thank god Skymall is here to help... especially if your name is Bob.

Bob's Affirmation Box

Bob's Affirmation Box is a wooden box that says affirmations when the lid is opened. Except the affirmations aren't directed towards any old person who happens to open the box, they are ONLY for people named Bob. How many Bob's are there in the world? Why would a company limit their market to such a tiny sliver of the world's population?

Thanks to this handy dandy website that knows everyone's names, I can tell Skymall exactly how many Bob's there are in the US. Behold!

I searched for Bob as a first name and a last name. Hopefully there is no such person as 'Bob Bob'.

If you look at howmanyofme.com's home page, they tell you that as of RIGHT NOW, there are 315,803,486 people in the US (this can be verified by googling 'population US' because Google knows everything, I think). You know what percentage of the US population has the first name Bob? 0.0275%. That basically means that 1 person out of every 3,600 Americans is named Bob. There are not nearly enough people named Bob to justify making a talking box ONLY for Bobs.


Soooo this piece of Bob-crap is the perfect gift for anyone named Bob (which is no one). Other than that... it's pretty useless. You could actually get way more for your money with one of those Hallmark cards that lets you record a message for the recipient. That way, you wouldn't have to wait for someone named Bob to come along. Unless, of course, you are one of "Bob's legions of fans". That is the creepiest product description I've ever read ever.

Can you tell that I just learned how to make screenshots and am really excited about it?

Although according to the customer reviews, the box will only say "Way to go, Bob," and none of the other affirmations. If Skymall's customers say it's a piece of crap, then it's definitely a piece of crap. Also, what is a 'big send-off'? They make it sound like that's an object that can fit inside the box. I was under the impression that a send-off was more of an abstract concept? ANYWAY Bob box yes done.