Skymall Review: One of a Kind Shirt

Skymall is my favorite magazine in the entire world (after American Way). Every single thing that is sold within those scummy germ-filled pages is something that can (and should) be mocked. The last time I went on a plane, I was actually laughing out loud while reading Skymall. In fact, I was laughing so hard that people glared at me and my mom yelled at me to shut up.

Did you know that if you hold in a laugh, it feels like you choked and got your drink stuck up your nose? True story.

One of the best items I've ever seen period, let alone in Skymall, is the infamous..... ONE OF A KIND SHIRT.


Whoever created this shirt is a sick, sick person. Brilliant, but very sick.

You know what makes this shirt so evil? Not just the fact that it makes you want to gouge out your own eyeballs, but also the fact that it costs $99.99.

With $100, I could buy 20 meals at Subway. That's 20 full $5 footlongs. Or, if your meal consists of a 6-inch tuna sub with extra cheese, chips and a drink, that money would pay for 14.8 meals. FOURTEEN MEALS.

But no. Instead, I am going to blow my money on a shirt that looks like... that.


Really what gets me is the description. This shirt is serious business.


"A One Of A Kind shirt allows you to show that you're an individual, that you're a little different than everyone else and you want them to take notice of who you are. These shirts are great for a night on the town, frat parties, bachelor parties, stag parties or any other time you want to stand out in a crowd."


What a coincidence! I was just thinking that I needed a shirt for nights on the town, frat parties, bachelor parties, and stag parties.

Stag. Parties.

(According to the internet, a 'stag party' is the same thing as a bachelor party, except the strippers and prostitutes might actually be victims of sex trafficking. So, you know, wear your classy shirt to that stag party. It fits with the theme of being a terrible, evil person.)


There's another disclaimer in the item listing:

"Because these shirts are a piece of art, the color and pattern is not revealed until the package is opened."


Announcement: these shirts are a PIECE OF ART. You can't control a piece of art. The artist must have a perfect creative environment in order to create the thing of beauty that is this shirt. You savages that don't appreciate the fine arts.

Did everyone know that pieces of art now come in bulk packages of 2 or 3? If you buy 2 Shirts From Hell, you only pay $169.99! If you buy 3, you pay $229.99! The savings are OUT OF CONTROL!



One of a kind shirts, for one of a kind men (not the good kind).